1. Work and alcohol are the ideal combination for productivity.
If you make it through the day having accomplished something, its a win.
2. When something breaks, you have no idea how to fix it.
Duct tape is your savior.
3. You can’t put a meal together with the contents from your fridge.
If you have a fridge its probably filled with alcohol and chasers.
4. This is what your grocery cart looks like:
5. You aren’t able to lead a healthy life style.
6. You have no idea where your money goes.
7. Which means by the time its payday or allowance-day, you’re buying food using spare change…
It’s not embarrassing, it’s college.
8. This doesn’t prevent you from having an iphone, expensive headphones, and designer hand bags though.
9. Not only do you make bad relationship mistakes, but you also deal with them terribly.
10. Your severe inability to plan ahead often causes you to spend lots of time doing nothing.
Or watching Netflix.
11. Panicking because you procrastinated too much and now you have way too many things to do on your to-do-list.
Where do I start?
12. Getting up in the morning (or afternoon) is the worst thing in the world.
When you are home, your parents judge you for laying in bed all day.
13. The time you thought having a plant in your room it died.
Good thing your parents didn’t allow you to get a pet cat…
14. Any minor injuries cause you major concerns.
Webmd only perpetuates this, claiming cancer and disease is the only explanation of your symptoms.
15. At least 40% of what you hear in class is a mystery to you.
More like 80%…
16. You don’t know about politics or current events, and you have no idea why you should.
You only know that you don’t know and that you probably should.
17. Going out on Monday is the norm.
You always know which bar you’re going to on “manic monday”, “tequila tuesday”, “wine wednesday”… etc.
18. Somehow you’re always feeling like death on Tuesday morning?
That is why.
19. You never have clean laundry.
You only do laundry once, mid-semester.
20. The library is your second home.
21. Important paperwork that runs your life confuses you.
So you call mommy to explain.